Is YOUR life this much fun?

MJ... Gone, but not forgotten...

2009-08-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

On our last day at Banks Lake, the weather was cool and cloudy. At one point, it even started to rain a little... I was considering packing up and heading out early when I heard some old school MJ coming from the party barge... Before I knew it, there were afros as far as the eye could see...

... By the time the music stopped and the afros disappeared, the sun was out and we were back in business... Anything can happen when you mix the magic of Banks Lake with a little MJ.

(photos courtesy of Kjrst, of course)

Blog post mooching...

2009-08-07T21:24:00.000-07:00

Every year my family meets at Banks Lake at least once during the summer. This year, between my brothers and sisters and their kids and grandkids there were over 40 Marsh offspring roaming the beaches of Banks Lake... I can't tell you how much I loved watching the party barge pull up to the beach, loaded down with all of the people I love most in the world. Anyway, this year I wasn't in much of a picture taking mood... Fortunately for me, Kjrst is always the photog so there is proof that we were there...

I'll save myself the trouble and post the link to her blog HERE.

I noticed that in the mix of all the pictures I can be spotted drinking a Diet Coke, snuggling a fat baby and coming back from a wake boarding run with some of my favorite peeps... All I can say is H E A V E N.

And so on...

2009-06-04T22:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get the miss-you's for my old life... The life I had before I started working everyday. I remember sleeping late, throwing in some laundry, doing a load of dishes and then heading to lunch with one of my friends... Life was pretty good. Life is still pretty good now, it's just different. There is no sleeping in, but I do still manage to meet my girlfriends for lunch sometimes... Everyday brings something new. For instance, today I found out how fast a jazzy can really go.

Part of what I miss about my old life was having the time and energy to blog. These days there just aren't enough hours in my day for blogging... Surprisingly though, our lives still go on, despite my lackluster blogging.

For instance, Eli graduated from preschool and even got to stand right by the trash can during the program....

Ellie had 5 dance competitions...

And for one of her dance competitions, I loaded up the Yukon and took the kids to St. George...

Cole turned 11, and as usual, we forgot to buy candles...

And Grandma McCubbins came for a visit...

Apparently, time marches on... Whether I blog about it or not.

Sometimes all I want....

2009-05-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

...Is one more just like this...

I'd eat her with a spoon if I could.

You know you've scored the best babysitter on the planet...

2009-04-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

... When you come home to a spotless house, happy kids, home cooked meals and folded laundry. Sitters like this are akin to the elusive big foot... People talk about them and SAY they exist, but no one has actually ever SEEN one... Until now, that is. My niece Bryn is only three years younger than me. She is the closest thing to a little sister that I've ever known and she has the traumatic childhood memories to prove it...

Anyway, Bryn is the most amazing homemaker I've ever known. And lucky me, she agreed to watch my kids while I work every Friday. Now, as if being the perfect mother wasn't enough, Bryn is also a budding photographer. Reading her blog tonight was like Christmas morning for me. Take a look at what I found...

I love you Bryn. You may not know how many squares of TP to use, and you might put too many stuffed animals on a bed, but other than that, you are next to perfect.

P.S. To my long lost friend / owner of the pilfered hat pictured above... Sorry. Finders keepers, right?

Why I love my new job, reason #155...

2009-04-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

My boss. Seriously. He's pretty much adorable...

Arriving back to work after a 10 day absence can be a little overwhelming, you know? And of course my co-workers were in rare form... Full of comments like "Do I know you?" and the classic "Hmmm, you look familiar but I can't quite place your face." (Gotta love them, they are all so funny)...

I expected the smarmy comments from my co-workers. I did not, however, expect what I found next... Reaching into my desk to pull out a pen, I discovered a cute little card. Inside was a note from my boss... It said something along the lines of "Becky, it's so great to have you on our team. Thus far you have proven to be everything I knew you would be..."

Awwwww. I know. I told you. Adorable, right? Couldn't you just put him in your pocket?

There's cool, and then there's just plain awesome...

2009-03-29T15:13:00.003-07:00

So I went to Chicago... And I saw lots of things for the first time.... But by far the coolest was this...

Yes, that's right my friends... It's a toilet with an automatic rotating toilet seat cover. It doesn't get much better, does it?

What does having a first class scout really mean?

2009-03-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

More swanky mom pins for me! A girl can never have too many.

The more things change, the more they stay the same...

2009-03-12T22:27:00.000-07:00

I posted this photo and the following comment nearly four years ago...

"It is a well known fact that although you can take the kid out of the trailer park, you can never take the trailer park out of the kid... Eli dressed himself and went out to play today..."

Hindsight is 20/20...

2009-03-02T21:34:00.000-08:00

I got my first spa pedicure a few years ago. Even though I'd survived most of my life without them, suddenly they became a necessity. I never should have taken Ellie with me when she was only 5. I've created a monster...

Have you ever wondered...

2009-03-02T21:00:00.000-08:00

... Exactly what goes on when you leave your kids home alone for a few hours? I recommend leaving a camera out in plain sight...

Mystery solved.

I'm not a fan...

2009-02-24T17:12:00.001-08:00

... Of pictureless blog posts... So here, let me start by supplying a totally unrelated and pointless picture for your viewing pleasure...

This is my sister's half witted cat. I'd show you a picture of my own cat, except that I don't have one because I'm a "cat waster" and we go through cats like we go through paper towels.

Curtis is still gone most of the time working in Alaska. He hates it, but the money is good and honestly, even if the money was bad, we'd still be all over it like stink on poop. Jobs are hard to come by these days and we're just thankful that he has work right now. Unfortunately he really is gone about 3/4 of the time. The good news is that the kids are all still alive, and they still have all of their appendages. I consider this my greatest accomplishment of late.

In related news, I started a new job a few weeks ago. I have to admit that I drive to work every single day with a cheesy grin on my face. I love what I do and I love the people that I work with. My new job title is "Director of Community Relations"... Basically I do sales and marketing for the largest assisted living company in the US. My daily activities include attending corporate lunches, hosting professional breakfasts, being hit on by old men and everything in between. Consequently, it is a much cooler job than I even realized when I was hired.

And not surprisingly, the kids are surviving quite well without me. I feel blessed to have great family and friends who I trust to take care of them. I've also found that I have a lot more energy for them every night because I miss them all day long. I know, it's shocking, but it's true I swear.

FYI

2009-02-03T20:38:00.000-08:00

... Proper etiquette dictates that the attendees of a Superbowl party bring things like appetizers and drinks. Apparently, Curt's brother Andy didn't catch that memo. He brought us a flat screen TV instead. He's already on our guest list for next year's party, so don't even bother calling him.

Now I feel bad for wrestling him to the ground when he was 14 and making him say his name was "Farting Puss McCubbins"... Well... Almost.

Pack Meeting 2009...

2009-01-24T23:24:00.000-08:00

At pack meeting this week Cole was busy getting all sorts of awards, including his arrow of light, his Bear, and a rope that marks him as the new leader of his pack.

I, of course, was busy standing up on stage with him, waiting for my swanky mom pins.

Eli, on the other hand, was busy looking for ruckus to cause. Consequently, my sister Georgie found herself quite busy keeping up with Eli. Apparently it didn't go so well, and by the end of the meeting, as Eli hung from a chair rack, Georgie turned to the old man next to her and said "I'm gonna kill this kid."

To which the gentle looking old man replied "Well, let's just hope there's not a line."

Yup, pretty much that's the way we roll... And?

Eli, you are a nut job. We hope to keep you out of jail, preferably with most of your body parts intact by the time you're 18.

Cole, we love you and are so proud of all of your hard work! Please pay special attention to the first aid you'll be learning in scouting. It's likely that you'll need those skills to save your younger brother at some point in the future.

2009-01-18T22:45:00.000-08:00

You said you’ll love me, “even if there’s worse to come.”

Take a breath, take my hand, now our lives have begun.

Look at the bounds of what our love can do.

The storms, they may rage, but I’ll always find you.

And I thought I knew love, thought I worked for the cause…

I’m just coming to know how misguided I was.

I've learned most of life’s lessons at your pained expense.
There's nothing to change. There’s no recompense.

Somehow, you're still here. Somehow, so am I.
Proof to the world that love’s all in the try.

We’ve burned all our bridges, we’re both moving on

The trail leads us forward and our past is gone.

And I'd never change it… I’ve learned in the end.

There’s only beginning. I’ve found my best friend.

Cool Giveaway...

2009-01-18T22:41:00.000-08:00

Over here HERE!

And while you're there, take a second to check out some of the cool Mormon Mommy blogs!!

Pack your business socks...

2009-01-17T16:32:00.000-08:00

This made me laugh so hard, I cried the first time I watched it... Somehow, it just never gets old.

Parenting Failure Number 3764...

2009-01-15T21:40:00.000-08:00

Me: "Eli. Go to bed. I'm not telling you again. It's 11:00 and if you get up again I am going to take away your Heelys."

Eli: "Well, you're not the boss of my Heelys."

Me: "Yes I am! I am the mom and and..." (this is the part where I start to say I bought them, but end up stuttering when I remember that SANTA actually brought them)

Eli: "And? And? And? WHAT?! What are you gonna do?"

Me: "Um. Just go to bed, wouldja?"

I just got called out by a five year old with a speech impediment. Let's just admit the truth... He totally owns me and we both know it. Someone call Nanny 911.

2008 in review...

2009-01-10T19:34:00.000-08:00

... 2008? Huh? What's that? 2008? Hmmm... Doesn't ring a bell... Never even heard of it. Nope. Totally. Never. Happened.

(If you love me, you'll humor me on this one and never mention the number 2008 in my presence again... At least, not unless you want me to spring at you like a caged animal who hasn't been fed in a month... Just sayin...)

So anyway... moving on... Bring on 2009! I'm pretty sure it's GOT to be better than last year!

We traded Eli in...

2009-01-06T16:22:00.000-08:00

What do you think? I'm thinking, "Yes! UPGRADE!!!"

Okay, you got me... They're not ours... They belong to Bryn, but aren't they adorable? Yeah, I think so too... They just crawled up into our laps like that, all on their own. I love them to pieces.

Fortunately, I buy my wrapping paper at Costco...

2008-12-30T20:44:00.000-08:00

...Because all the midgets really wanted was to have their dad back home for Christmas... You'd be surprised how much wrapping paper it takes to cover a 6'5'' 255 pound man. I have to say, the strategically placed bows made him look especially festive...

(Alright, I'm lying... I didn't really wrap him up... But he DID come home on Christmas Eve, and there HAS been a lot of "unwrapping" going on since he got here... Just saying.)

Gray Hairs and Gay Men Unite...

2008-12-20T10:31:00.000-08:00

... I've never been a Neil Diamond fan. EVER. But last night my sister in law called with an extra ticket, and since I was choosing between a night at home with four kids, or a night out with my sister in laws, the decision was an easy one...

All I can say is wow. If you're a people watcher, Neil Diamond is your man. I am not exaggerating even a little bit when I say there was an oxygen tank being carried into the concert...

Okay... So look closely at the picture above... See the red sequined sleeve across from me? Um, yeah, that's my new boyfriend. It's important to note that part of his ensemble included a wide silver fabric belt and he was on his feet shaking what his mama gave him the entire night. He was all about the "jazz hands" and I was smitten. I spent half of the night watching Neil, and the other half watching him.

Can you tell I was having an awesome time? Well I was. Who knew that spending an evening surrounded by old people and gay men could be so much fun?

Our dad is, apparently, never coming home...

2008-12-16T20:19:00.000-08:00

... Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit... But it's starting to feel like never... After 3 and 1/2 weeks in Alaska, Curtis was supposed to arrive home today. Unfortunately, the Alaskan weather failed to cooperate, and Curt's plane was unable to take off. One might assume that Curtis would simply catch the next flight out, but one would be wrong... Things just aren't that simple and, with flights being over booked for the holidays, it looks like we might be dadless until Christmas Eve...

Since we've been waiting for Curtis to come home so we could put up our tree, and since, apparently, he's NEVER coming home (yes, the exaggeration again, I know) we opted to put up the tree without him... I was occupied with the decorating, so the kids took over the camera and we ended up with a lot of photos that look like this...

(Yes, that IS "White Christmas" playing in the background, and yes, after years of brain washing, I've finally managed to convince the midgets that they LOVE it...)

Cole was also especially helpful tonight...

Ultimately, though, we ended up with a completely decorated Christmas tree and, you guessed it, all body parts still intact. Success...

I have to admit, this Holiday season has been one of the most trying I've ever had... But in some ways, it's been one of the best... It's become increasingly apparent that I have more amazing friends than any one person should be allowed... Truly my life is blessed.

Dating midgets...

2008-12-12T20:07:00.001-08:00

... Tends to require a lot more effort than one might think. First, you have to keep them from eating each other...

Distracting them from them from cannibalism with festive sugar cookies is sometimes effective (but not always). Brightly colored sprinkles tend to help...

Fortunately, it seemed to do the trick tonight...

Happiness ensued and...

...We ended up with about 5 ~~semi edible looking~~ delicious cookies...

Despite my best efforts I didn't get any action...

... But, no one lost any body parts either... At our house, we call that success.

Random Photo Tag...

2008-12-09T18:32:00.001-08:00

Fourth album, fourth picture... Hmm.... let's see.... Ahhh yes, it's a lovely shot of my goofballs... Hello teeth.

I tag Anna, Bryn and Marion. Play along... or don't. But there will be consequences for non-participation.

Whadayamean I can't fly?

2008-12-06T16:58:00.000-08:00

Arriving home today, I noticed the screen was popped out of Eli's bedroom window. Apparently, Cade shot Eli's Halo guy. This made Eli angry, so he decided to leave the house... via the window. I'm not kidding. Cade caught him with one leg out the window. Did I mention his bedroom is on the second story? I don't even know what else to say. But really, do I even NEED to say anything else? Didn't think so.

Gratitude, a day late...

2008-11-28T18:33:00.000-08:00

My life is abundant with blessing, I know... But there are 5 blessings that I absolutely couldn't live without...

I promise you, there aren't better people in the world than my brothers and sisters. And really, there aren't words to describe what each of them means to me. Just being numbered amongst them makes me feel special. Specifically though, each one brings something intangible, but all the same, irreplaceable into my life. They love me unconditionally, and that, alone is the greatest gift any of them could ever give me.

My brother Rich probably doesn't even know it, but he's my very best friend. I can (and do) tell him everything. Consequently, there is nothing I want more than to be the kind of sister that he deserves. He is gentle, thoughtful, generous, wise... all of these things and more. The fact that he is alive and breathing makes me feel safe, since I know he'd do anything for me. I can't imagine my life with out him in it.

This picture of my oldest brother James was taken with his kids this year at Banks Lake... He's the handsome guy on the far right... He is the patriarch of our family and the glue that binds us together. No one loves the family more than he does. And truly, there is no one who I admire or respect more. Just like Rich, I know he loves me, and that he'd do anything for me. Even though my dad is gone, he's still here, really, because James is around.

And my sisters... I've written about them before... and I could write about them a million times, never running out of things to say... They are precious to me, beyond any description. Somehow, when we're all together, everything seems alright. It doesn't matter what's going on in my world because hey, I've got my sisters and it's all going to be okay. They are always here to love, council and support me... And as if that wasn't enough, they never fail to make me laugh until I feel like I could throw up. What more could any girl ask of her sisters?

So happy Thanksgiving to ME, one of the luckiest girls alive.

Oh man... It's good to have you home...

2008-11-20T15:25:00.000-08:00

... I've been doing this to him too... Except I do it in private, and my undies aren't blue.

People have accused Curtis and I of being like rabbits before... But I had no idea...

2008-11-17T16:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Eli,

You are so awesomely weird. I hope you'll always be the quirky little odd ball that you are today....

There's only one way to guarantee that there will never be puppy poop on your floor...

2008-11-15T22:35:00.000-08:00

Get rid of the puppy.

Three weeks... That's exactly how long our adventure in puppy parenthood lasted. And then I gave up. Yup. I did. Totally. Lucy is no longer residing in our household. Unfortunately, the kids just lost interest in her... Instead of arguing over who got to take her for a walk, they started fighting about who took her out last and who should have to feed her. After several gentle reminders, a few stern warnings and about fifty threats I finally realized that the only person who was going to take care of Lucy consistently was me. And I'm just not up for the challenge right now.

I know. I. Am. AWESOME. (Just like Eli)... Don't laugh at me please... Or at least, have the courtesy to do it behind my back.

It's okay to be a crappy mom, as long as your kid has awesome self esteem...

2008-11-13T14:34:00.001-08:00

I'm not going to lie... After more than two weeks of single parenthood, I think I've finally hit a wall... The kids are off track and it's too cold to play outside so they are entertaining themselves by harassing each other... The puppy keeps pooping on my floor... I could really use a break. Unfortunately, there is no break to be had, at least not for another week... I'm sure I'll find a way to recharge my mommy batteries, but so far today I've been a bear of a mom...

Anyway, today it was Eli's turn to bring the snack bucket to preschool and I decided make cherry popcorn balls for the class... Already in a foul mood, I pulled up to preschool and told Eli to get out. Of course, the universe being what it is, Eli dumped his popcorn balls out all over the car. I threw the car in park and hopped out to pick them up, barely containing my frustration. The conversation went like this...

Me: "Geez, Eli! Why are your popcorn balls dumped out everywhere?"

Eli: "I don't know."

Me (voice dripping with irritation): "Probably because you. are. AWESOME!"

Eli (jubilant): "Yah! I AM awesome! You're right! Thanks mom! Yah!"

Two things are apparent...

1. Eli has great self esteem.
2. He has NO clue what sarcasm is.

Man, I love that kid. He really is AWESOME.

Today we experienced...

2008-11-08T13:56:00.000-08:00

The thrill of VICTORY...

And the agony of defeat...

Cade and Cole both played in championship football games today. Cade's team finished off an undefeated season, beating Bingham 28-0. Unfortunately, Cole's team lost to Alta 13-18. No regrets though... Both boys had an awesome year, and we had a great time cheering them on...

It's been fun...

...But I can't lie. I'm ready to say goodbye to driving to practice, goodbye to endless stinky laundry, goodbye to standing in the rain and snow, goodbye to being "busy" every Saturday, and goodbye to searching for lost football socks, water bottles and mouthpieces... For awhile, anyway.

Goodbye Silverwolves. See ya next year.

A public service announcement...

2008-11-07T23:20:00.000-08:00

... Drunk Blogging... Ever heard of it? Me neither, until I actually DID it last night. It's a lot like drunk dialing, only less annoying to your friends, I think... Okay, so technically I wasn't drunk, but I DID take an Ambien and then I sat down at my computer instead of just going to bed. That's all I really remember. The next day I woke up and discovered both of my blogs had been given face lifts and I'd written a typo filled post about Halloween. (Let's not even go into the flurry of candy wrappers that were scattered around the office)

Don't drink and drive.... And don't take Ambien and blog either.

Halloweenies, and so much more...

2008-11-06T22:52:00.000-08:00

This year, with Curt gone for HAllowween, I didn't want to be stuck at home alone with all four of my ghouls. The whole thing hardly seemed fair to me. So I developed plan B... Through a small amount of hint dropping and with a little bit of pleading from the younger children, I was convinced that we could work ourselves into an evening of Halloween Festivities at the Smiths quite readily.... We initiated our efforts by dropping not-s0-subtle hints about what a pathetic evening we'd have all by ourselves and how the most festive food we planned to eat on Halloween were Square Pumpkins at Arctic Circle. Eventually, the whining and sniveling paid off and Teri actually DID invite us up for Halloween. (Okay, I invited us up for Halloween and Teri said "Okay.") OH YEAH BABY!

The kids were in heaven , literally. Their first stop was at a Pediatrician on the street.... In addition to the two king sized candy bars he gives out, he also offers flu shots for just $10. What a deal, huh! The kids did a limited amount of trick or treating, but still managed to come home with with almost more than anyone could carry! They were even treated to hot chocolate and "Halloweenies" at one of the larger homes, complete with a full sized screen playing a Halloween movie!

It was awesome to trick or treat in a new area and get to experience some of traditions that Bountful has to offer. We had an amazing night! Thanks again Kent and Teri!

How do nerds entertain themselves when summer is over?

2008-11-05T19:21:00.000-08:00

...They start couponing again. Granted, it's a far cry from laying in the sun, but I've got to do SOMETHING with myself, now that I'm not washing swimming suits and towels every day...

8 bottles of Dove Shampoo
1 bottle of All Laundry Detergent
4 boxes of Betty Crocker Potatos
8 Knorr Rice Sides
5 Betty Crocker Cookie Mixes
4 Best Foods Mayos

Total Spent? $7.77
Total Saved? $85.76

Yup, I'm a nerd... But I'm a nerd with a pantry full of cheap groceries. You can be a nerd too, if you want. WWW.PINCHINGYOURPENNIES.COM

Don't let the door hit you in the backside on your way out kid...

2008-10-31T13:48:00.000-07:00

After seeing his buddy's zombie costume, Eli decided that he no longer wants to be Buzz Lightyear for Halloween. He insisted that I drive him directly to Walmart to buy a new costume. When I explained that there would be no more costume buying this Halloween, he threw a tantrum and was sent to his room. Ten minutes later he came downstairs with a backpack on...

I asked him to empty the contents onto my desk...

And this is what was inside...

Apparently he's running away. I guess he figured all he'll need is a pair of jeans and three pairs of basketball shorts to tide him over. He said he's going to live with Aunt Teri. Maybe he should consider putting on a pair of shoes. It's going to be a long walk.

The bain of my existence...

2008-10-29T19:53:00.000-07:00

Pretty cool, isn't it? Yeah, I thought so too when I bought it nearly two years ago... Unfortunately, sometimes "cool" is really ~~expensive~~ ~~stupid~~ ~~more work than it's worth~~ not all it's cracked up to be. Since I brought it home, I'm guessing we've put well over $6000 in repairs into it, including, but not limited to, the new transmission it got a couple of months ago...

What I'm learning (the hard way, I might add) is that unfortunately, I totally can't afford cool. I'm not meant to be "cool." I am meant to be "budget." And no matter how hard I kick and fight against the reality of the situation, it just is what it is, you know?

Tomorrow morning, Curtis is leaving for 2 1/2 weeks. Tonight I turned down my stereo enough to hear all sorts of clangs and crashes coming from beneath my Suburban. I'm hoping that Curt will have time to fix it before he leaves but I'm not holding my breath... The only upside to the situation is that my Suburban DOES have an especially nice Bose stereo system, which I intend to use to drown out the knocks and clangs. I'm guessing it will be sort of like spraying perfume on someone with really bad B.O. but really, what are my options here? Anyway, if you hear a car coming up the street that sounds like a rolling dumpster full of rocks cranking some ACDC or Michael Jackson, you won't even have to look out the window to see who it is.

My new definition of cool? ANY vehicle that gets more than 12 miles to the gallon and runs all of the time. Someone PUH-LEASE remind me of that when this forced period of humility has ended. Thank you.

It's hard to blog...

2008-10-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

... with a Puggle in your lap. I may need to go change my pants now...

Lucy is a totally the most popular person in our family these days, hands down. Everyone is constantly telling her how adorable she is. We even give her treats just for going to the bathroom. In my next life, I want to come back as a puppy.

Lucy...

2008-10-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

There's a puggle on my kitchen floor right now, and it's not because anyone spilled anything...

A story that's probably only funny to Teri and Val's kids...

2008-10-23T22:59:00.001-07:00

You remember my last sister post, don't you? I mean seriously, how could you forget? My sisters are so cool and I love them so much. Life would not be worth living without them! Well, last night I was treated to yet another sisters night when Val flew into town. (Three of us live in the same state and our fourth sister Val lives in the Seattle area)

For those of you who don't know us well, you should know a few things... There are two sweet sisters. I'm not one of them, and neither is Georgie. Teri and Val are notorious for being sweet, kind and loving. Georgie and I are... well... not. I'll just leave it at that. Anyway, last night at Georgie's house, Val and Teri had the following conversation:

(I should note that the tone of the entire conversation was one of sincere enthusiasm and excitement)

Teri: "How did you get here Val?"

Val: "Well, I rented a car all by myself from the airport for the very first time ever!"

Teri: "You did?! Wow! How did you do that?"

Val: "Well, actually my husband rented it for me ahead of time."

Teri: "Oh. But you had to find your way here, didn't you?"

Val: "Yes, I did."

Teri: "Well, that's hard! How did you do that?"

Val was so proud of herself, and Teri was glowing with pride just listening to the story. Meanwhile, Georgie and I sat with our hands over our mouths, and tears streaming down our faces, trying to hold back our laughter. Man, we love our sweet sisters. How could you not?

Some kids are just wired different...

2008-10-20T14:31:00.000-07:00

This one, for example...

... Who tries to "movie kiss" me every chance he gets. Um... Is that normal? I'm thinking not. Oh well, I guess when you get to be my age, you gotta take it where you can get it.

Groundhogs and Silverwolves...

2008-10-18T22:05:00.000-07:00

Today was the kind of day that makes me love football... It was an important game. The play offs are on the line. The other team is undefeated so far this season... The weather was warm and breezy... Cole's team led the entire time, but the score was close enough to make it exciting up until the very last second... And best of all, my boy played a great game.

In the end, Riverton shut out the undefeated Bountiful team. Apparently, undefeated doesn't count for much when you take on "Sticks" and the rest of the Silverwolves.

A win this late in the season is like seeing the groundhog's shadow... Only instead of getting a longer winter, we get 2 more weeks of play off football.

Things that make life less crappy...

2008-10-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

... I'm having one of those days... Thought a little list-making might help... So without further ado, here it is...

Things that make life ~~less crappy~~ awesome....

Caramel

Diet Coke

Kissing a new baby, then giving him back to his mom when he poops or cries

My fireplace on a cold fall night

Friends that always make me laugh

Friends that always laugh at me

Knowing that summer will be back

Big Brothers

Long walks

Awesome memories

Forgiveness

An IPOD full of great music

A long drive with a fountain DC in my lap and the stereo turned waaaaay up

Wandering through TJ Maxx or the RAC like a pirate on a treasure hunt

Funny bloggers

Realizing that life is ever-changing

A clean house

Warm homemade bread

Jeans that fit great

Putting my cold feet on my warm husband

Hearing from someone I've been missing

Watching my boys play football, baseball and soccer

Pedicures

Okay... That's all I could come up with today. But today, that will have to do.

Again, the picture speaks for itself...

2008-10-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

All I can say is we love him, no matter who he chooses to love... Man, woman, or door jam.

Mess with the bull...

2008-10-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

What did you just say? What?! You think I can't take you anymore now that you're a big 12 year old? Really. Really? Alright then, buckle up cowboy...

Yah, it doesn't really matter if your brothers jump in to help you. They can't take me either...

You bettah recognize son!

Eat your Wheaties and try me again in a few years.

A serious football mom...

2008-10-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

... washes mounds of sweaty stinky football jerseys, pants, jock straps, socks and under armor over and over and over again.

... drives back and forth to practice 5 nights a week, usually dragging extra players along and throwing slices of pizza and cheeseburgers at her passengers..

... watches countless hours of football practice and tries to act interested the entire time.

... never brings a chair to a game... She paces the field, following the play as it moves down field.

... makes piles of football treats and totes them along to games and practices.

... always has a stock of Powerade in the house.

... will stand in any kind of weather, just to watch her boy play.

To reward the boys for beating Bingham on Saturday, the moms came to football practice today to participate in warm ups. Normally there isn't a camera to be found at practice, but what do you know? Today there were DOZENS of cameras all around... And we did it all, from stretches to ladders.

In the drill you'll see below, the goal is to follow the ball and then come away with it once the coach tosses it up. Just in case you're wondering... I ain't no joke suckas. The coach loved me. The mom who I worked did not. (You only need to watch about 45 seconds of the video to see me kicking her butt)

Most importantly, a serious football mom ALWAYS GOES FOR THE BALL.

It's good to be Cade...

2008-10-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

... Because when you're Cade, life consists mostly of football and school. Football is nothing but buddies and fun, and school comes easy to you. Then there are the weekends... There's always a football game to be played on Saturday. Even better, if you behaved yourself during the week, you get to do things that are all sorts of cool on Friday and Saturday night. Sometimes you get to go to boy/girl parties and sometimes you get taken to U of U games with your football buddies. Other nights are a little more laid back, and all you get to do is TP the neighbors with your pals. Luckily, you have parents who let you get away with a little vandalism every now and again... This weekend was especially cool (if you were Cade, anyway)...

Friday night we let Cade go to a haunted house with a group of friends. This fact alone indicates a huge amount of trust on our part... Add that to the fact that all the other kids are two years older and that some of them were girls and, wow... There's no question that we gave him the longest leash he's ever had in his life.

We sat downstairs until 11:00pm, waiting for our little "sevey" to come home... Just like our parents waited for us to come home yesterday... Okay, it was actually 14 years ago, but it sure feels like yesterday... You see where I'm going with this, right? I mean, there we are, sitting at the counter, asking all the same stupid questions that our parents used to ask us and trying to look serious the whole time. I'm sorry to report that both of us failed miserably in our parental roles last night... Curt and I just couldn't get over the whole thing and we kept exchanging amused glances and giggling into our hands. We were pathetic. We just haven't accepted the fact that we're really getting old now and that our lives hold countless nights like this one in the future. That's one of Cade's only disadvantages... He has to break in fledgling parents.

Anyway, on to Cade's football game on Saturday... Our boys have been in football for years now and I have never seen rain like I did today. By the end of the game the entire field was covered in water... And not just a little bit of water. I'm talking three feet in a few spots. Cade's team in undefeated so far and today they played Bingham, one of their biggest rivals. The competition is so fierce that no one was willing to call the game, even when the field started looking more like a lake and less like a football field. Finally, during the third quarter, the game was moved to a less-drenched field but everyone was already completely soaked to the bones. Cade's team won convincingly, and celebrated the victory with a swim on the football field...

Of course, if you were Cade, you wouldn't worry a bit about the cleats, pads and football uniform you just drenched in nasty, muddy rain water. Your mom does all of your laundry, and she'll be taking care of that for you. Like I said, it's good to be Cade.

The pictures speak for themselves...

2008-10-02T15:35:00.000-07:00

... It's just not safe to leave a new camera unattended in a house full of little people. Sometimes the temptation is just too great.

Go Viks!

2008-09-26T20:12:00.000-07:00

High School Tag

1. Did you date someone from your school? Someone, someten... whatever.

2. What kind of car did you drive? I didn't need my own car. I had Anna and the IHOOP2 Jeep.

3. What was the most embarrassing moment of HS? I was too stupid to be embarrassed by myself, although I probably should have been.

4. Were you a party animal? You might say that.

5. Were you considered a flirt? You might say that too.

6. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? No. I thought I was way too cool for that crap.

7. Were you a nerd? Nah.

8. Were you on any varsity teams? Basketball

9. Did you ever get suspended/expelled? I got suspended for two days my junior year for talking back to my Science teacher during class. Shocking, I know.

10. Can you still sing the fight song? No, but I can still do the hand jive baby!

11. Who were your favorite teachers? Everyone's favorites... Lipe, Silvernail. I also had a soft spot for my basketball coach Mr. Robinson.

12. Where did you sit during lunch? At the Senior tables in "The Mall."

13. School mascot? Curtis Vikings (I know, isn't it weird that I married my very own Curtis? Some things are just meant to be.)

14. Did you go to homecoming, and with who? Yes, I went with Sam Lindstrom. I think he might be gay now but he had all of the makings of a great date... He was tall, cute, had money and drove a nice car. I actually decided I wanted him to take me and started telling people until he finally asked me.

15. If you could go back and do it again, would you? If I could relive my senior year over and over again I would do it in a second.

16. What do you remember most about graduation? Hating that highschool was over.

17. Where did you go on senior skip day? Every day is skip day when you have a student body officer pass, right Anna?

18. Were you in any clubs? WTI. If you know what it is and you know what I was up to, this is actually really funny.

19. Have you gained some weight since then? Gained and lost. I weigh about what I weighed during my senior year these days.

20. Who was your prom date? Chad Cragun, who was also a great date. Hoffert dumped me about two weeks before prom, so I had to improvise and bring a Junior. He was excited about it though and I had a great time with him.

21. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion? Been there, done that, loved it! Scottie Shoes was definitely the highlight for me.

22. Looking back, what advice would you give yourself? Oh. My. Gosh. I SO wish I had taken the time to get good grades. By the time I figured out that grades mattered, it was just too little too late. I also wish I hadn't waited until my senior year to get really involved in the activities at school. For instance, I wish I'd played another sport besides just basketball. I'm glad I never tied myself down to one boy for more than a few weeks, but I really wish I'd been more sensitive to the feelings of the guys I dated. I was kind of a jerk.

I tag Anna, Kjrsten and Richelle for this one.

Sisters Gotta Hug...

2008-09-23T00:30:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like sisters... And I love my three sisters more than any words could ever say. This week, my sister Val flew into town and I got to spend a day in sister bliss. Of course, there are several things that Marsh girls always do when they get together...

1. Marsh girls eat. I had to list this one first, since it is probably the most important thing to all of us... Here we are at Archibalds... Yes, I realize that Teri's eyes are closed, but there's a story there, so keep reading...

2. Marsh girls don't just laugh. They laugh until they're in pain and just to the point that they're barely still in control of their bladders... On that note, I'm a little worried that my oldest sister Teri is developing a mild case of tourettes syndrome. I'm pretty sure the symptoms start with ticks, blinks and twitches, don't they? You see, no matter how hard I tried today, I COULD NOT get a picture of Teri where she wasn't blinking her eyes. After taking several group shots of Teri with her eyes closed, we gave up and moved on to other poses... The pictures below really speak for themselves, but make sure not to miss the look on Val's face during each subsequent picture... As you can see, Georgie and I had absolutely no problem taking a decent picture together. We took one shot and that was it...

Then is was time for Val and Teri (the sweet sisters) to take their turn. This is where things got a little out of hand...

With each progressive shot, Val grows increasingly more amused...

All the while, I redouble my efforts to get at least ONE decent shot out of my lovely sister Teri... Just about then, Val gives up entirely and starts to sputter and gasp with laughter...

Poor Ter... No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't face up to the fury of the flash. Eventually, I think she just gave up...

And while we were on the topic of eyes, someone mentiond Georgie's old Balkety-eye trick. What? Never heard of it? NO WAY! This skill is world renouned to say the least! Count yourself lucky, because you are about to witness it today! Here it is, in all is speldor and magnifcience:

I'm not going to lie... No matter how bad my day is, looking at this picture makes me laugh. Hard. Of course, the other sisters wanted to get in on the act and although their balkety eye attempts pale in comparison, they still came up with some blog worthy photos...

I opted out of the balkety-eye competition, but if you want to see my ribreast side show, you just have to ask and I'll hook you up later.

3. Marsh girls shop... And since it was getting late, Ross was our only option. Don't you worry though, we are nothing, if not innovative. We definitely made the best of our time by trying to out do each other by finding the most horrendous clothes in the store. Eventually we had to concede that George and Val tied with these little numbers which they pulled from the rack at exactly the same time... Great minds think alike:

Teri was there too, but unfortunately she still hadn't figured out how to take a picture without blinking. I think Kent will be looking into getting her some therapy for her Tourettes sometime next week.

So, do I love my sisters? Tell you what... Love isn't even the word. Find me a word that means admire, adore, respect, appreciate, and can't get enough of... all wrapped up into one... and THAT would be a start for how I feel about the sisters. They are nothing short of precious to me!

Goodbye Summer...

2008-08-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, we went out on (what will most likely be) our last boating excursion for the summer. I'd tell you who was there, if I thought you didn't already know. Anyway, afterwards, we ate dinner and cleaned out the boat that we have played on all summer long (courtesy of the Clarks). I'm not going to lie... It was sad and I could have sqeezed out a few tears, if I'd let myself really think about it all coming to an end.

We spent countless hours with our friends this summer and somehow, we never ran out of things to laugh about or stupid stuff to do... Just trust me when I say, we all act 16 when we get together, and our common sense is minimal. It has honestly been one of the best summers I've ever had. The kids had a great time too. I think...

Truthfully, we were too busy playing with Nachae and Tyson to really notice the kids much... But from what I gather, they had almost as much fun as we did.

It doesn't get any better...

2008-07-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

Last week, we loaded up the kids, the jet skis and of course, our favorite friends, and headed up to Park City for a couple of days of boating. It was so much fun that coming home was painful.

How to teach your kid a lesson he will never forget...

2008-07-26T12:10:00.000-07:00

1. Sign him up for a jet ski class and test so he can get a license to drive alone (since he's been begging for years).
2. Pay the fee, buy the manual and tell him to study.
3. Remind him every day for THREE weeks to read and study.
4. Get irritated and lecture him every day for three weeks when he tells you he hasn't studied.
5. Lecture him some more, the night before the test, about how he probably won't pass because he hasn't studied at all.
6. Discuss (in front of him) how he'll probably never get to drive a jet ski alone because "there's no way he's going to pass without studying and we aren't going to waste our time or money bringing him to another class again."
7. Squeeze in one last lecture, just before the class, about his total lack of commitment and responsibility.
8. Eat your words when, not only does he PASS the test, he scores a 98% (the highest grade in the class).

It's true, our parenting skills are unsurpassed.

Family Night...

2008-07-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie... the summer has been busy. We've been swimming, boating, to the splash park, ice blocking, out on picnics, and most recently, down to Temple Square. Needless to say, I haven't been neglecting our family blog due to a lack of things to post about. I have, however, been pretty forgetful about bringing along the camera. Fortunately, tonight at Temple Square, I was in rare form... Not only did I BRING the camera, I also remembered to take pictures with it.

We met our friends at the Trax station and rode the train down town... Here's a shot of four of the 8 ankle biters that we brought along... (The rest were screaming up and down the aisles and jumping on the seats at the time this photo was taken)

Then we walked around the visitors center and took a few pictures at the reflection pool. Although this isn't the best family photo, it was the only one we got where Eli wasn't licking my arm, so it's a keeper...

I realize that everyone thinks their kids are beautiful (even people with ugly kids)... But PLEASE tell me if you ever seen two prettier little girls than these two...

So far, the summer has not disappointed!

How grown-ups play tag...

2008-06-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

... Ellie was tagged by her cute friend Sophie, and it just so happens that I love tag posts that involve kids, so I'm more than happy to play along... I'm a little uneasy about what Ellie might say, but here it is, totally unscripted (gulp)...

1. What is something mom always says to you?
"Don't get into the staples."

2. What makes mom happy?
"When I clean my room without you asking."

3. What makes mom sad?
"When you don't do stuff if you're told."

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
"She plays jokes."

5. What was your mom like as a child?
"She looked like me and she never got into the pantry."

6. How old is your mom?
"Thirty one."

7. How tall is your mom?
"Really tall."

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
"Play with her kids."

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? "
"Works."

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
"She wants to get more money."

11. What is your mom really good at?
"She's good at taking care of her kids."

12. What is your mom not very good at?
"She's not very good at - um, I can't name any things about what you're not good at."

13. What does your mom do for her job?
"She has people call her and tells the people when their plane or bus is going to arrive."

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
"Weight watchers food?"

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
"That she loves her kids."

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
"She would be Pearl (Mr. Crab's daughter)"

17. What do you and your mom do together?
"Pretty much nothing."

18. How are you and your mom the same?
"She looked like me when she was a little girl."

19. How are you and your mom different?
"She's older than me."

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
"She takes good care of me."

Ellie tags Regan, Isla and Meredith, if they want to play.

Lock up your daughters...

2008-06-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

... because these lips are on the loose!

A witness (Kenna's dad Ben) testified that today, during a play date, the two minors, Eli and Kenna, were found hiding in a closet together. Eli was reportedly covering his mouth and refused to take his hands away from his lips. Both children were said to have had "guilty looks on their faces." Later, a second witness (Kenna), testified that the two allegedly kissed one another in said closet. When Eli was questioned by authorities (his mom), he denied all allegations. However, when put under more intense interrogation, he finally admitted his crime. He is reported to have said (in tears and between sobs)... "Oh man! Now my other girlfriend is going to dump me when she finds out I kissed Kenna! But it was just a pretend kiss! It was an accident!"

Charges will be forthcoming.

Bald Convention Makes Good...

2008-06-17T23:19:00.000-07:00

When your dad ~~makes~~ helps you with your pinewood derby car, good stuff happens... You know, stuff like winning first place in every heat but one... Which leads to other good stuff, like winning the first place trophy...

For obvious reasons, I made Curtis get into the victory shot with Cole... Fortunately, Cole didn't seem to mind sharing the lime light.

Actually, it was more than just a little apparent that all the dads had done the bulk of the derby making. It was hard to believe the amount of detail that went into some of the cars- obviously not the handiwork of 8-10 year old little boys. I should also note that the bald convention was an undeniable success... All of the cars they worked on together last night made it into the final heats. Cole was just lucky, his dad was the best derby maker of the bunch.

Is it a bald convention?

2008-06-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

While it appears to be just that, it is actually something entirely different. What you are seeing is the preparation that happened last night (on my porch) for today's Pinewood Derby. Whats a Pinewood Derby, you ask? Well, I pulled this definition from the Boy Scouts official website:

The pinewood derby is one of the most popular and successful family activities in Cub Scouting. Pinewood derby cars are small wooden models that boys make with help from their families and then race in competition.

Now I ask, do you actually SEE any boys present at the derby making? Yeah, me neither. And when I questioned these over zealous dads about the obvious lack of Cub Scouts present, they each had the same canned response: "Well, he chose the shape and helped to cut it out." I'm here to tell you all that cutting the cars out took all of 15 minutes. And these guys? Well, these guys were on my porch balancing the weights, sanding the wheels and adding graphite to the tiny nail axles for nearly four hours last night. It's all about the kids people.

Eli's Big Day...

2008-06-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

This morning, for the very first time in a soccer game, Eli shot the ball into the RIGHT goal! In fact, he was the only player on his team to score a goal today.

"Look out, coach! I'm bringing it in!"

High on treats from his game and the feeling of success, Eli came straight home from his soccer game and mastered a two-wheeler for the first time. Without ever using training wheels, and with just a little coaching from dad, our 4-year old was off. Don't worry though, when I saw what was happening, I ran inside and got his helmet. If there was EVER a kid who needed a helmet, you're looking at him.

EDIT: (I have to add just one thing... A few days ago, while we were snuggling in bed, Eli took my chin in his hand and said "Sweet heart, look at me. You're hot and pretty." Not only is he an amazing natural athlete, he's already got the pimp daddy moves down. Unfortunately, he's using those moves on his mom, but we're working on that.)

What nerds do for fun...

2008-06-05T14:48:00.001-07:00

... They go to Target and pay a total of $13.06 for $130.00 worth of razors and shaving gel. Then they drive straight home to take a picture and blog about it.

A day at Utah Lake...

2008-06-04T01:28:00.000-07:00

... Well, if you want to call it a lake, I guess you can. It's actually more like a shallow, dirty, oversized puddle, than a lake if you ask me. Of course, I'm from Washington, and in Washington our lakes have unheard of things like BEACHES and clear water. I know it sounds like crazy talk to the rest of you Utahns, but I swear, lakes like the one I described really do exist.

Anyway, Saturday we made a quick run to Utah ~~swamp~~ lake to drop the jet skis in for the first time this summer. They ran like two little tops (two VERY OLD little tops) and the kids had a great time. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to pull my camera out while we were actually using them. Pretty much, this is what I came home with:

Eli Before:

Eli and Drew After:

But you get the idea, right? We went... We ate... And the kids loved it. Nuff said.

Danced OUT.

2008-06-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

Saturday was Ellie's LAST dance event of the season. (That means we've got two dance-free summer months coming.) Curtis came, along with Eli, and I asked him to video tape Ellie's three performances. (This means he was ~~forced~~ inclined to stay for the entire event.) Let me tell you, he REALLY enjoyed watching three hours of non-stop dance. And so did Eli... See?

I didn't feel even a tiny bit bad for him though, since I've been doing this for MONTHS all by myself, and three hours is NOTHING in the whole scheme of things. I mean seriously, I've probably spent a total of three hours just putting her eyeliner on in the past few months. I was pretty ticked though, because none of the pictures that I took during her dances actually turned out. I did manage to snap a few shots back stage... Ellie's on the left...

And for the record, that little pose above was her own invention... No coaching from me, I swear. She's just like that. I don't know where she gets it.

Duh.

2008-05-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

You know your memory is bad when the following incidents occur:

You refer to a friend you've had for 5 years as "what's her bucket"

You can't remember what time kindergarten starts on early day, even though the kids have been in school for 6 months

You forget to put mascara on ONE EYE

I'm not exaggerating. At. All. I've done all of the above, at least twice, in the past six months. I know I've done even more dumb things but, well... Honestly, I can't remember the rest of the stuff I've done right now. Go figure. Anyway, it's getting scary.

So finally one day I decided to take action! Enough of this forgetfulness! I went straight to Costco and bought myself some Ginkgo Biloba. I just KNEW it would fix all my problems! After all, the bottle even says "supports alertness and short term memory."

There's only one problem. I bought in 3 months ago and I've never remembered to take it.

Today was a big day...

2008-05-20T12:09:00.001-07:00

... Eli graduated from his first year of preschool today and I'm not going to lie... He's so far behind what my other three kids knew at this age that I'm a little worried. I've even considered driving him 30 minutes to Sandy, where my friend teaches preschool next year. I haven't decided yet what to do with him. If you live in Utah and you know an amazing preschool teacher in the Herriman/Riverton area who has a special talent for working with overly rambunctious little boys CALL ME!

Anyway, here's how it went down... First the kids did a little program and sang some songs for us...

Apparently, Eli found it all a bit boring... Notice the huge yawn...

Afterwards, we had a picnic lunch and played at the park. As we were getting ready to leave, a woman I've never seen before came up to us, towing a little girl I've never seen before either. Apparently, the little girl's name is Kinzee. Her mom explained that Kinzee talks about Eli constantly, and even named her pet snail after him. She wanted to take a picture of them together...

So, what does all of this mean? Well, while Eli may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, he is definitely a ladies man.

Sticks...

2008-05-15T15:19:00.000-07:00

~~Sticks~~ Cole is easily one of my favorite people on the planet. I'm telling you, the kid just plain cracks me up. He is one of the quirkiest, most artsy, self confident little humans I have ever met... And he always has been.

A couple of months ago Cole decided that he wanted to play baseball, so we signed him up. He started the season off by choosing a unique name for the back of his jersey. The team mom let the boys choose their jersey names one Saturday when I wasn't in attendance. (Remember the day I had a nervous breakdown?) You would think that, like the other boys, Cole would have chosen to use his last name or a nick name that people actually call him. But ooooh no! Not MY boy! That's right, I am now the proud mother of "Spiker" McCubbins. Had I been there that Saturday, I would have talked him into using the nickname that I gave him a few years ago...

"Sticks" just suits him so well. You should see his narrow little backside in those tight baseball pants. It's quite a sight. In fact, the first time he got up to bat, all the other parents starting snickering and whispering about it. He's also one of the tallest kids on the team, which only adds to his bean-pole like appearance. He makes up for his lack of girth with his attitude, though. You wouldn't believe how the kid struts up to the plate. Judging by his swagger, you'd think he was fixing to knock that ball out of the park. Not so much though. What he really does is pray that the pitcher will throw him 4 balls so he can walk. He has yet to swing during a real game. Lately I've been trying to teach him to squat really low when he bats... If he's not going to swing, at least he'll have a smaller strike zone, right?

Last night Cole's skinniness paid off, though. The bases were loaded, and he was on third... Cole had no choice but to run for home when his team mate hit a short drive right to the pitcher. As Cole headed for home, the pitcher tossed the ball to the catcher, who was standing a few feet up the third base line, just waiting to make the tag. Cole came running right at him and then did a little fancy footwork, tip-toeing just out of reach and narrowly dodging the catchers tag and sliding in to home. You see, had Cole been even a little bit thicker, that catcher would have had him for sure.

We REALLY soc.

2008-05-14T14:14:00.000-07:00

Remember this kid? And remember how I made fun of him for scoring TWO goals for the other team a couple of weeks ago?

Well, apparently, his aptitude for helping out the opponent has spread to other unsuspecting members of his team. See little number 11 in the picture below? Um, yeah... well... About him... I hear that HE actually scored THREE goals for the other team last week. I'm not sure WHO he is, but he bears a strong resemblance to a four year old that I know really well...

For the haters...

2008-05-13T01:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true, I'm a couponer. I tote around a gigantic binder stuffed full of coupons. I hold up the line at the grocery store and annoy the people behind me. I block the aisles. I buy mass quantities. I admit to all of it, and more.

And don't think that I don't know how you people make fun of me behind my back! I KNOW you laugh and roll your eyes when you think I'm not paying attention... In fact, a good friend who has known me since I was 16 once said, "Becky, if you had known yourself when you were back in high school, you would have kicked your own A*@! " And he was right.

But none of you laughed during Sunday dinner last month when you ate the boneless, skinless Tyson chicken breasts that I paid .33 cents a pound for! Oh no, you weren't laughing then, were you?! And just look at what a great night I had at Albertsons... Look!

See that? I paid just $21.76 tonight (I got $10 in cash back)... And I saved 227.66... And that's not including the $50 I saved using a raincheck, because those savings don't show up on the receipt. That's right my friends, I saved about $275...

Are you wondering what I got for my twenty one dollars? Well, I brought home 100 bottles of Powerade that were all completely FREE... I also got 20 boxes of General Mills cereal, 14 boxes of Pop Secret popcorn, 12 Yoplait Yogurts, 8 Betty Crocker frostings, a 6-pack of Trix Yogurt, 10 bags of Chex Mix, 4 boxes of Fruit Snacks and 2 boxes of 100 calorie Lorna Doone cookies.

So, is anyone in the mood for some popcorn and Powerade? Call me.

Mother's day treasures...

2008-05-11T17:29:00.000-07:00

... Lookit what I got for mother's day, isn't it all just great?!

The hydrangea is so pretty that it looks fake, doesn't it? That was a gift from my husband, along with a Diet Coke 25th anniversary t-shirt. The rest was all made for me by my little peeps... Except for the tiny arm and hand in the right corner of the photo. I made that. It's Eli.

But my favorite thing? Well that was definitely the little note that Eli made at church today... Let me give you a closer look...

I like it when my mother "helps me go to the bathroom" with me. Awww, tender, huh? Doesn't that just warm your heart? Happy Mother's Day everyone. Now go give one of your kids a wipe, because, apparently, those are the little things that really matter to them.

There's nothing like the smell of hairspray in the morning...

2008-05-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

(Beware, there's a little angry blogging to come...)

I spent last night gathering up the pieces of Ellie's THREE dance costumes and putting her hair up in curlers. Then I actually drove us both to Bountiful to sleep at my sisters house because, get this, Ellie had to be AT LAGOON, in full dance attire, ready to go at 7:00am today. Let me repeat that... SEVEN FREAKING A.M.

It's a good thing I have a sister who lives in Bountiful because, well, we live in Herriman. Did I mention that Herriman is about 1 and a half hours from Lagoon?

And let me just add that:

It takes at least 45 minutes to get Ellie dressed, curled and make-upped.
Ellie had to change clothes and hair THREE times today.
We were at Lagoon for SEVEN hours.
The entire day was a wild mix of little dancers, lip gloss and chaos.
Most of the moms got up at 4:00am this morning.
I wore a hat, slept 15 minutes from Lagoon and went showerless
Today was Ellie's 4th competition in 6 weeks.

Believe me, I had NO CLUE what I was getting into when I signed Ellie up for dance this year and her teacher suggested Ellie's skill level was such that she should join the Junior Company.

"What does that mean?" I asked...
"Well... just a couple more competitions and more advanced teaching."

It sounded good to me at the time. (Did I mention I had NO CLUE what I was getting into?) I was even proud when I realized that Ellie is one of the youngest girls in her dance group. HA! I was sooo innocent. So naive!

But here are a few more important facts:

I play basketball.
I love all sports.
I know SQUAT about dance.
I'm not into hair.
I'm not into makeup.
I'm definitely not into cheerleaders.

And I haven't even told you what I hate most about all of this... See the little girl in the front of this picture on the left? (Don't worry, it's not HER that I hate the most... read on...)

Her mom yells at her before and after she dances at every competition. She shouts out things like "Keep it SHARP! SMILE! Kick HIGHER!!!" This stage mom once told me that her poor little girl has even said "Mom, I don't want to live YOUR dream." Hello lady, wake up and smell the hairspray!

And the sad thing is that most of the other moms aren't much better. It's the moms that I have the hardest time with. They are competitive, unfriendly... and well... not the type of women I enjoy spending my time with. You see, I'm not interested in what kind of SUV you drive or how great your MAC makeup is or how many fabulous vacations you took last year... And I REALLY don't want to hear about how important you were in high school. I. Don't. Care.

And so today, as casually as possible, I asked Ellie what she would think of taking a dance class that didn't include competitions... Or even better... "What about playing soccer?! Wouldn't that be great? Huh? Huh? Huh? You could even try T-ball or basketball or swimming! Wouldn't you love that? Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you???"

And Ellie... well... she said "No." Actually what she said was "What? But MOM! This is SO much fun! I want to stay in Junior Company next year! I love competitions! Don't you just LOVE this?" Apparently, SHE really loves it...

And so I'm going to fight the anti-cheerleader that dwells deep within my soul and I'm going to suck it up! As long as she wants me to, I'm going to curl her hair, apply her mascara, buy her frilly costumes, and smile as she dances her little heart out. Because she loves it... My little girl is (gulp) a dancer.

The Parenting Payoff...

2008-05-06T14:48:00.001-07:00

Every so often, one of my kids does something that makes me think maybe I'm doing something right. Of course, these tender little "moments" are typically wedged in between a lot of yelling, carpooling, laundry and dishes... But I digress... While I was in Washington for a few days, my six year old Ellie wrote this letter to me:

Just in case you can't read her kindergarten script, here's what it says:

Dear Mom,
I miss you. I hope you come home safely. I love you a lot. Every day I do art for you and for dad. You are the best mom ever. It is very hard not to miss you, but I miss you a lot and I know you love me. I know that we are Heavenly Father's children. We are a good family.
Love,
Ellie

Next time she talks back to me (ie:"Wow Mom, you're poor AND mean.") or yells at her little brother, I'm going to think about this little letter and try to remember how tender she really is.

Who could use an extra twenty five bucks?

2008-05-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I could... I mean come on! Do you KNOW how many Lean Cuisines a girl could buy with $25???

There is a new company called Revolution Money Exchange who's out to give PayPal some competition... They are offering $25 to everyone who signs up for an account before May 15 AND signing up is FREE! I've done my homework on this and it's legit, but you don't have to take my word for it... You can learn more about the company yourself by reading this USA Today Article

I signed myself and my husband both up and then transfered the fifty bucks to my checking account. The money made it's way into my bank account within just a couple of days. If you're familiar with online banking, then you'll be comfortable signing up with this company... They are FDIC insured and do require a Social Security Number. After you sign up, make sure to log into your account and "accept" the $25 that will be waiting there for you. Then you can request to have a check mailed to you, or have it transfered directly into your bank account like I did.

And guess what? If you sign up through the link on my blog, I'll make ten bucks! Then you can put a link on your own blog, or email your friends or whatever and make ten bucks for everyone that YOU sign up. I know, it sounds too good to be true... but it's really not. So far I've made $50 signing up myself and my husband, and $120 from people signing up under me. And yes, it actually showed up in my bank account and yes, I've already spent it.

The link is in my sidebar... Go sign up... We can thank each other later!

(Thanks to those of you who have signed up! You have until May 15 to spread the word and make a couple of extra bucks yourself!)

Hey!

2008-04-30T17:46:00.000-07:00

I see you there, sitting in front of your computer, eating your little snack... I can SEE you reading my blog and snickering to yourself about the stupid things that I do and the crummy things that happen to me... I can even hear you thinking to yourself "Sheesh, that Becky is SO out of control. I'm sure glad I have MY life and not HERS!"

Get BACK here! I'm talking to YOU! Fine, stop by to make yourself feel better about YOUR life... I understand, I'd do it too if I were you. But don't you DARE leave without leaving me a comment first!

And if, after this, you STILL read my blog without leaving a trace... Well, then THIS is for YOU!

(That's really just a picture of my kneecaps that I took while I was sitting in the car waiting for Curt to pump our gas (Hey, I was bored)... But you still get the idea, don't you?)

We soc.

2008-04-28T19:42:00.001-07:00

Hey Eli! Come over here bud! Let's take a picture of you at your very first soccer game!

Okay... Well... Um, that's not exactly what I had in mind, but that was an AWESOME action shot! Just hold still and smile for a second...

Almost... Just try looking at the camera... Please?

Come on. I'm serious now. HOLD STILL!

Uh, nope, that's really not going to work. Sorry, no growling or snarling allowed, but good job holding still...

Whew! Okay, close enough. I'll take it.

(For the record, this scenario was not exaggerated at all. In fact, there were more pictures just like the ones above. A LOT more... And take note of the banana in Eli's right hand above... It's the only thing that actually got him to hold still long enough for me to take that picture.)

Now, see this kid?

Nope, that's not Eli, but he gets to be a part of our family's blog because he is VERY special... He was the only one on Eli's team who actually kicked the ball into the goal. In fact, he kicked it in TWICE. Unfortunately, it was the wrong goal both times... But whatever. We're not picky.

Needless to say, Eli's team got spanked... But I'm certain none of them actually realized that. They all had a rockin good time and got treats when it was all over... Apparently, that's all that counts when you're four. (Heck, toss me the right treats, and I guess I'd be pretty happy too.) Go Blue Bombers!

What? That story wasn't GROSS enough for you?

2008-04-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

...You want an even grosser story, you say? Well, okay... I guess I can tell just one more. This one involved the same kid, and occurred just a few months later...

One morning, as I sat typing at my computer, ten month old Ellie crawled over to me and pulled herself up into my lap. Just then, I noticed something black on her face... "Hmmm, I thought, what could this be? Looks like ink.... Wonder where it came from..." It was stuck on her cheek and chin, and mixed in with some drool for good measure. At first glance, I guessed she'd gotten a hold of a ballpoint pen and chewed on it for a while.

Because I was really busy (surfing the internet) I went for the quick fix, wiping most of the black gunk off with my t-shirt. Then I licked my finger to wipe the rest of it off of her face and onto my pajama pants. I gave it a little sniff, but couldn't quite place the smell. "Hmmm, I thought, well whatever, I'll figure that one out later... now back to business (point, click)."

Later that day, as I was putting laundry away in my boy's room, I stepped on something... Something squishy. I dropped to my knees to examine the squishy object. To my horror, I discovered that it was my son's goldfish, obviously now expired. Apparently, the poor little creature had been plucked from it's home by our new kitten, and left to die alone on the floor. Now I should mention that this wasn't any ordinary goldfish. This goldfish was one of the fancy types that you can buy at Walmart... Like this one...

Notice those black, bulging eyes? Yes, our goldfish had eyes just like that... But as I took a closer look I discovered that unlike the fish pictured above, our poor little fishy had just ONE eye left. You do the math.

What's grosser than gross???

2008-04-24T14:53:00.000-07:00

If you really wanted to know, you could always ask BRYN about her recent run-in with Mickey Mouse... Or you could take a minute to check in with SUE, who's dog REALLY loves her... Of course, you might just choose to ask Ellie... Okay, not Ellie really, since Ellie was too young to remember the story... You'd have to ask me.

Both Bryn and Sue got me to thinking about the gross things that have happened in my life and so I thought I'd share one of my favorites...

Ellie looks so adorable and innocent at two months, doesn't she? Awww, what a sweet baby! Well, I'm here to tell you that she was no such thing! (Okay, she WAS, but hear me out on this one)... For the first few months of Ellie's life, every time I changed her, I knew I had about a 1 in 5 shot of getting pooped on. Seriously. And I'm not talking about a little harmless baby poop. No Sirreeebob... I'm talking about the grainy, mustard-yellow projectile stuff... The kind of odious stuff that only a breast-fed infant (or a bioterrorist) is capable of producing.

Anyway, normally I was very cautious during diaper time, but one day Ellie caught me a little off guard. I was kneeling at my bedside changing her sweet little bum (which was right at my eye level), when all of a sudden I heard an explosion. Of course, I gasped because I was so shocked by the explosive sound (you wouldn't believe me, even if I tried to tell you how loud it was)... Anyway, just as I opened my mouth to gasp, a splatter of projectile baby poop shot right at my face AND into the back of the throat. Three words people... Baby. Poop. Shrapnel.

So what IS grosser than gross? Can you beat that one??? Leave your story in my comments or link to your own blog.

My weekend was AWESOME! How was yours?

2008-04-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

My mother-in-law was in town this weekend and so my husband's family planned a special event for Saturday morning... Of course, I wasn't able to go because... well... we have kids and they have lives and their lives are MY life. This is what my Saturday looked like, sans Curtis:

7:30am - Wake up, get showered and dressed.
8:00am - Get Ellie up, get her dressed in full dance competition attire (in case you've forgotten how much work this is for me, take a peek at THIS POST).
8:30am - Get Eli and Cole up and dressed.
8:45am - Throw all of the kids and some breakfast bars in the Suburban.
9:00am - Arrive at Eli's first soccer clinic, find the coach, get a uniform, put it on Eli and thank Kamilla for showing up so that I could leave to take Ellie to her dance studio for picture day. Back to the Suburban...
9:30am - Arrive at Ellie's dance studio, leave Cole in the car watching a DVD. Wait.
10:00am - Realize Cole is supposed to be at the baseball field but Ellie's pictures haven't been taken yet. Ask virtual stranger to watch Ellie while I run Cole to his baseball game.
10:10am Arrive at the ball field, find Cole's coach, help him get his uniform on, take him back to his coach and ask the coach to keep an eye on him because... Well... I have places to be.
10:45am - Back to the dance studio where Ellie's pictures have been taken and virtual stranger has left her unattended (heck, what did I really expect?)
11:00am - Head home to change Ellie's costume, hair, and makeup for second round of pictures
(meanwhile, Kamilla dropped Eli off at home with Cade)
11:30am - Throw Ellie, Eli, and Cade in the car with a box of granola bars (lunch) and head off to watch Cole's very first baseball game, already 30 minutes late.
11:40am - Sit in a wind storm watching Cole's game with 3 tired, fussy kids.
12:20pm - Leave Cade at Cole's game (so Cole won't be alone) and drag Ellie and Eli back to the dance studio for the second round of pictures.
1:00pm - Get a call from the boys that the game is over. Tell them to start walking home.
1:15pm - Pick up the boys on the side of the road and head home.
1:30pm - Feed everyone lunch again... Somehow, they weren't satisfied with granola bars.
2:00pm - Have nervous break-down.

Here's a shot of my soccer player helping my baseball player pull off his cleats after a long day...

I just hope that some day the kids will look back and feel grateful for how hard I tried and forgiving of how much I failed at being a good mom!

File this one under "How cool I am"...

2008-04-21T14:07:00.000-07:00

I know the receipt says "handbag" but what I really bought was a pair of black leather open-toed heels to go with my black slacks. Look closely my friends... I really did pay just one penny.... Yessiree, let me tell you what... nothing, no NOTHING, makes a girl feel quite as pretty as a pair of one cent shoes.

(The shoes were 80% off of $50.00 and I had been sent a $10 gift certificate for signing up as a new customer on their rewards program and... VIOLA! One cent shoes!)

I'm it...

2008-04-17T18:42:00.000-07:00

Who do you love? All of my peeps... Mostly family and a few really close friends. Lately though, I've figured out that most people are innately crappy and family is where it's at.

How long have you been Married? 13 years... coming up on almost HALF of my lifetime!

How long did you date? 6 months

Who is Smarter? Depends on what kind of smart I guess... Curt and I both scored exactly the same on the SAT's but he is definitely a math and science guy and I am more about reading and writing.

Who does the Laundry? Mostly me but Curt can be a big help when he needs to... He tends to pitch in more when he runs out of underwear. Go figure.

Who pays the bills? Curtis... although I pitch in with my little stay at home job.

Who mows the lawn? Curtis, but I know how to do it if I need to and have done it several times... Curtis used to travel a lot!

Who cooks dinner? Both of us... Curtis is great to pitch in when I'm not in the mood to cook. I consider cooking a chore and would rather do dishes or vacuum any day!

Who drives? Curtis, unless he's tired and wants to take a nap.

I tag anyone who wants to avoid their house hold chores. Anna? Kjrst?

How to stay up past your bed time...

2008-04-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

... without getting into (too much) trouble...

Seriously, HOW could we stifle this sort of creativity by getting angry?

Dixi Jam

2008-04-14T12:41:00.001-07:00

Our family took a little trip to St. George last weekend to watch Ellie in the Dixi Jam Dance competition. Ellie had to be at the school by 6:30am Saturday, in full hair and makeup... And since the kids didn't manage to go to sleep until 1:00am (because we were in a hotel and WOW being in a hotel is just way too much fun)... Well... It was a rough morning. Ellie had to walk out the door looking like this:

Just trust me when I say it takes a long time to get all of those curls in place. Needless to say, I had to get up really early and for those of you who know me well, you know that early isn't exactly my thing. And don't even get me started on what it's like to put eye liner on a tired 6 year old who has a twitch. Anyway, in the end it was all worth it. Ellie did a great job and her team took first place.

Then we were left with the rest of the day to play. It was beautiful and sunny so we took advantage and went for a swim. I even got some little tan lines! (AHHH summer... I've missed you so!)

Later that night we went for dinner at the Texas Roadhouse... We had to wait for nearly an hour to be seated. Eli wasn't happy about it. Neither was Curtis...

It was well worth the wait though, because to celebrate Curt's 35th birthday, they made him climb up into a saddle and yell "YEEE HAW." I'd gladly wait for DAYS to see this again...

We had a great time but whew, the whole thing just wore me out! I could hardly keep my eyes open.

(Okay, not really, but since I took most of the pictures, there were only like 3 of me to choose from)

The Tooth Fairy THUCKS!

2008-04-10T12:15:00.001-07:00

Ellie finally lost the last of her front teeth yesterday and was left with an adorable gaping hole and a speech impediment. Unfortunately, the Tooth Fairy was not on her game last night and neglected to swap out the tooth for a dollar. Ellie was less than thrilled about the situation, but I tried to convince her that we should probably cut the Tooth Fairy a little slack. I'm guessing that the Tooth Fairy just might be feeling a little overwhelmed with laundry and housework and screaming kids... So much so, that it just slipped her mind... But that's just a guess.

Tag Eli.

2008-04-08T20:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Eli, how about giving us a little pose for your first day of preschool? Whatdyasay?

Okay bud, you're going to have to do better than that. How about a little smile?

No? Well, okay. I see... hmm, I guess the robot works too. We'll just go with that for now. That's awesome. Thanks bud.

Eli was tagged by his cousin, or niece or sixth cousin twice removed... Isla. Just trust me, they're related. Anyway, I guess the game is to share 7 random facts about your child, and since everything about Eli is random, this should be a cinch. The photos above should give you a fairly good idea about what sort of kid he is. They pretty much say it all, but just for fun, I'll play on...

1. When Eli was two he jumped from the second story window of our house completely naked. By the time I made it outside, he had already started walking around to the front door... All I really remember was seeing my stark naked baby with big tears in his eyes and his mouth full of dirt saying "I fall ow da window mom." All things considered, he fared pretty well with just a chipped tooth and a fractured wrist.

2. Eli is fearless (read: brainless)... He has no concept of personal safety or danger and will gladly attempt ANY stunt. Last summer at Banks Lake, when he was THREE, he jumped off of the cliff that most of our 8-12 year olds jump from. Apparently it drew quite a crowd of spectators who hung around waiting for Eli to jump. Of course I wouldn't really know since I wasn't there... It goes without saying that had I been there, the whole thing NEVER would have happened. Never.

3. Eli loves chocolate milk... he drinks it by the gallon and I just let him. I figure it's better than the Diet Coke that I drink, right? He also makes up for it by eating all of the salad and ranch that he can get his little hands on. The kid LOVES salad. Go figure.

4. Eli can't WAIT to play football like his big brothers. He talks about it all of the time and sneaks into their room to pillage their gear any chance he can get... Honestly, we can't wait for him to play either. I'm fairly confident that he'll be a lot of fun to watch (see fact #2 above).

5. Here's a fact that's sort of about Eli but mostly about his mom... Prior to Eli's birth, she thought she was a fantastic, well organized, put together parent. She really thought she had it all figured out... And now... well... NOT SO MUCH.

6. Eli loves anything that involves danger and being outside... He loves to jet ski, he loves to knee board, he was ticked that we wouldn't let him skurf last summer at age 3. He loves riding his four wheeler... If it's fast and loud then Eli is all about it!

7. Girls stare at Eli... A lot. He notices it and points it out to me quite often... And he hates it. He complains about it to me all of the time. Last summer he came stomping over from the playground as mad as can be saying :

"See dat gwurl, mom? She say I her boyfwend! And I say I NOT her boyfwend!"
But she say "Yes you are you my boyfwend!"
And I say "No I not!"
And she say "Yes you is! "
"I HATE that gwl! She NOT my GWLFWEND. She NOT!"

In general, Eli tends to be rude to girls, although I'm not sure why. Strangely though, it does little to deter them from chasing him down and batting their cute little eyes at him.

Clearly, our little Eli brings a whole lot of action to our family... And even though I've been known to joke about giving him away, I love him way too much to sell him (for anything less than $100,000).

Eli tags
Macy Swensen
Estelle Madsen
Jairus Judd
Drew Sparks

We may have to move to Arkansas...

2008-04-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

... Because Eli has been kissing his cousin Drew.

The photo above was taken last fall at Kamilla's wedding, where Eli refused to hold Drew's hand in the wedding line because... well... he's a turd (I mean that in the most loving, motherly way). The fact is that Eli is rude to Drew a lot of the time because... as I mentioned... he's turd. Luckily for Eli, that doesn't seem to matter to Drew. Her love is unconditional.

The other night, Drew's unrequited love finally paid off when, the two cousins decided to "pretend" to be married. Although Eli denies it, Drew says that they kissed. And I'd take Drew's word over Eli's any day... Because in addition to being a turd, he's also a known liar.

Did someone just say "FREE BABYSITTING?"

2008-04-05T15:59:00.000-07:00

Having my very own 12 year old has been one of the best things that has happened to me since I became a mother. Life has changed a lot around here since Cade turned 12. Instead of saying things like:

"Can Shelley please babysit for me on Friday? Yes, of course, I'd be happy to pay her enough to feed a family of six for a week... After all, I'm going to be gone for nearly THREE hours."

and,

"I think this sitter is a keeper... Sure, it looks like a tornado hit my family room, but none of the kids were bleeding when I got home and she only ate two boxes of cereal!"

Now, I get to say things like:

"I need to run to the store... Be right back kids!"

and,

"Dad and I are going to dinner for a couple of hours, I rented you a movie to watch while we're gone."

Some may call it slave labor, but not me. I call it "the responsibilities of being the eldest child." I promise, I don't leave him in charge just because I want alone time and a pedicure... No no, my friends, I am molding him into a responsible, capable young adult. It's all about HIM and his personal growth. I swear.

Furthermore, he's a better babysitter than anyone I've ever hired because, well, first of all, he's free... But more importantly, he's been trained by the best (ME). He knows how essential it is to keep the house picked up and the kids entertained. He also understands that babysitting doesn't give him license to spend the evening raiding my pantry and talking on the phone. Honestly, he does a great job and, most of the time, everyone gets along great when I'm gone.

Last night Curt and I stayed out late. So late that I won't even tell you what time it was when we finally got home... We weren't worried. We knew all of the kids would be asleep and in bed. We just didn't realize WHICH bed they'd be in...

(That's all of three of them crashed out in our bed... Cole was staying at his friends house.)

Don't feel too sorry for him though... Being the oldest isn't all work... It has it's rewards too. Tonight, Cade got to ride TRAX to Salt Lake to attend the Priesthood session of General Conference and go to dinner. Just him and his dad... Hanging out the way responsible adults do.

Judge not...

2008-04-04T12:23:00.000-07:00

... You know that scripture that says something along the lines of "Judge not, lest ye be judged?" Well, call me irreverent (it wouldn't be the first time and I promise it won't be the last), but I think it needs to be revised to say something like: "Judge not, lest thine own child doeth something worse."

Let me tell you a little story my friends... Long ago, in a land far from here (seven years ago, when I lived in Sandy), I had a neighbor named Lisa. Lisa was the mother of 5 wild, white-haired little children. Her youngest son at the time was two and went by the nickname "Doodie". Without fail, at least once every day I'd spot little Doodie on some sort of bike or scooter, at least five doors down from his own house, in the middle of the street, with no shoes on. Don't ask me why, but for some reason the fact that Doodie never had shoes on made the whole thing all the more appalling to me.

Being the young, slightly inexperienced, mostly smug, mother of two that I was, I decided to speak to Lisa about the situation. All I remember about the conversation was Lisa saying "I just can't keep him in the house. No matter what I do, he always finds a way out." Hmmm. Really? Well, I guess you can tell that to the Paramedics when they scrape his little shoe-less body off of the pavement, I thought. I really believed that Lisa was the worlds most incapable mother. At the time I had two spotlessly groomed and meticulously supervised little boys. I had no clue what life was like for Lisa... Let's be honest, once you move past two kids, life changes in ways you can't even imagine...

Now let me tell you another story... A story about a family of 6 who recently moved into a new home in a new neighborhood. Their youngest son, Eli, is two... And even though they've only lived here for a few months, every single neighbor on the street has a story about him... He's been spotted jumping on the top of his dad's truck (naked), walking alone in the middle of the road at 8:00am (naked), and wandering around a construction site a street over from his own house (in his pajamas)... And it goes without saying that most of these things were done sans shoes, since even a two year old knows how ridiculous it would look to wear shoes without any clothes on...

All of the locks at Home Depot never kept this kid in the house. And all of the pleading, yelling and bribing in the world couldn't keep clothes on him either.

Meet the sock destroyers:

2008-04-03T21:20:00.001-07:00

The picture says it all. Really. Take a good look at it and then guess what their personalities are like. I promise, you'll be dead on.

The boy's socks

2008-04-02T23:16:00.001-07:00

No matter how many I buy, and no matter what brand I choose or how much I spend, within just a few weeks, this is what I end up with... A handful of mismatched, holey socks that look dirty, even after I've washed them.

Where, for the love of all that is good, do they all go? Could there possibly be a sock-eating bacteria dwelling, undetected, in my home somewhere? And why do all of my boy's socks look so filthy, even when they're clean? Seriously, what do they DO in these things? Judging by the looks of them, you'd think my boys trudge through a swamp to get to school every day.

Frankly, I've given up. I don't care if they wear the same pair of dirty mismatched socks to school every day for a month!

How you know you've failed as a parent:

2008-04-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

One day last month while we were leaving Costco, our 4 year old, Eli, suddenly and quite dramatically developed a severe case of Turrets Syndrome... At least that's what I told everyone who overheard what he said. (Okay, what I really did was turn bright red and stare at my feet but I digress...)

As we were walking out past the registers, we passed a little person that works at Costco. Out of the clear blue sky, and at the top of his lungs, our little Eli yelled "HA HA YOU'RE SMALL!" Oh. My. Gosh. Now you tell me, how do you make that better? I don't care what anyone says, you can't un-ring that bell people. You just can't.

When we got home that night I had Eli watch one of my favorite TV shows with me. It's called "Little People Big World" and I happen to love it. It's a show on TLC about the Roloff family. Both parents are dwarfs and they have four children. Three of the children are average height and one of them is little, like his parents. He also happens to be a twin. Anyway, it's a great show and they are an awesome family. Needless to say, Eli loved the Roloffs just as much as I do.

After watching the show, I explained to Eli that little people are just like everyone else... I said something along the lines of "They have feelings and yes, even ears, my son"... I tried to help him understand that the little person heard what he'd said and it probably didn't make him feel very happy. When my quasi lecture was through, Eli turned to me and said "I wish dad was a small guy."

Flash forward to a few weeks later, when our family visited Costco again. Once again, as we were leaving, Eli managed to spot the little person who was minding his own business, ringing customers out at the register. And once again, Eli yelled at him at the top of his lungs. Only this time what he yelled was "BYE SMALL GUY!" That's progress, isn't it?

2007-10-13T15:12:00.001-07:00

A couple more...

2007-10-12T16:32:00.001-07:00

Our family went to the Temple Quarry in Cottonwood Canyon for family pictures last week. For those of you who aren't familiar with the area- this was where the pioneers found the granite that was used to build the Salt Lake City Temple... It is just amazing up there!

2007-09-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Kamilla got married. Ellie was a flower girl, which of course she talked about and planned for weeks in advance. Eli was in the wedding too. He was a little less thrilled about the whole thing... As you can see, he took most of the tux off as soon as he could. I swiped these pictures from Kimee's facebook so she has the distinct honor of being a part of our family's blog. Isn't she one of the most beautiful girls you've ever seen??? I'd like to say she takes after her aunt, but since there's no blood relation there, I can't take any of the credit. Dang.

2007-05-31T14:16:00.001-07:00

Cole had his 9th birthday party last week... All these little boys came over for a water party and a sleepover... It was a riot, really.

2007-05-31T14:10:00.000-07:00

Ellie graduated from preschool last week... Now, every morning she asks if she can go to Kindergarten. It's going to be a long summer...

2007-05-31T13:59:00.002-07:00

Eli's best friend hit him in the head with a shovel, necessitating a visit to the insta-care and two staples in his head... Apparently tempers flare when you are three.

2007-04-19T22:38:00.000-07:00

Curts brother Aaron spent all day Saturday with the boys... He took them to BYU stadium and showed them around, bought them a bunch of BYU stuff at the bookstore and even let them drive his car... um, yeah, can you say FAVORITE UNCLE? Well, they all can.

2007-04-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

Since my blogging "skills" were recently brought into question, I figured it must be time to update. For Halloween this year I decided to take advantage of the fact that Cade and Cole are in their akward stages... Honestly, I was a little frightened by how well they pulled the whole Napoleon and Kip thing off.

2006-12-26T15:36:00.000-08:00

There were 6 new inches of snow on the ground and it was COLD!

2006-12-26T15:11:00.000-08:00

We were supposed to take outdoor photos this day, but the weather was bad so we improvised...

2006-07-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

Yup. She's still getting cuter.

2006-07-21T18:14:00.000-07:00

Cade and Ellie take a break from their usual squabbling to pause for a photo op.